my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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