i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
