The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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