somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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