Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i think i have herpe
just one?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
