A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
