shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize