hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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