There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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