batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
