i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
