i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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