why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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