wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
