Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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