I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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