Fuck appropriateness.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
