if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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