Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize