What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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