Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
