the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
