Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
