Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
