who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize