you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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