Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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