Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
