That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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