But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
