you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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