question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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