I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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