You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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