Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
