He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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