Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
