he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
