He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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