went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
