Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
