You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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