My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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