Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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