Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
