Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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