If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
