You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just google imaged poop.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
