But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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