you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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