you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
