I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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