Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
