Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
