Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
