so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
