I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
