I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
